Sunday, August 31, 2014
Weary, Sinful...coming back to the Lord
Jesus, I can never run away from you (actually i wouldnt want to) or stay disconnected from you for a long period of time. I struggle big time. I am sinful, undeserving, lost and confused. I felt I totally lost myself without really connecting with you. I decided to confess, to count on Your loving grace and forgiveness. To remain still before You...
Blessed is the one
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the one
whose sin the Lord does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the one
whose sin the Lord does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.[b]
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.[b]
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the Lord’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him.
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the Lord’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!
sing, all you who are upright in heart!
Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I found in You.
And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love.
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side.
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love.
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me.
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
by the power of Your love.
i'm leaving at ;
9:35 PM;
9:35 PM;
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
.Almost buried.
Have been so negative, so drained and so empty for the past
1 year due to a few things that happened. I find it so hard to perk myself or
get back to being in the presence of God again. No matter how hard I tried (I haven’t
tried very hard actually) I just couldn’t focus.
Recently, i think I just had enough. I find so much
negativity, so much unrest in me. I just wanted to quit my job because I just
cannot see anything ahead. But, will I be losing myself more? It started on
Monday, 18th August that I decided I needed solitude. So I intentionally
read God’s Word and pray over lunch time. Then I wanted not to complain.
(though I couldn’t stand not too, but I am still trying) Too much negativity!
Then come Wednesday 19th August that we had a prayer meeting and I really
sang unto the Lord. It has been so difficult singing unto the Lord in church
cause I couldn’t focus with Jaekan around. I realised I need the space and the
community to support me through. Relationship with God meant a world to me. I
thought its just part of me then I realised without that connection, I am
simply nothing. I am not me anymore. I hold nothing to my name. Not my work,
not my family, not my interest or hobbies that I can my worth in.
Then came a colleague that shared with me about his
perspectives on work. I always knew but I guessed I am so cold-hearted that I forgot.
Work, career, ministry, calling. &
to connect to people’s hearts and not being an administrator. I am truly
ashamed of the privilege i have to connect but fail to do so. Its useless to
use your own strengths but forgetting the heart that matters. I think he is a
God-sent reminder. I thank God for that.
Thank you God for today. I hope its truly awakening.
i'm leaving at ;
11:33 PM;
11:33 PM;