Being Confined. 

Jaekan-1 month (4.5kg, 56cm)

I survived! I survived! I survived confinement! To me, my confinement-I think compared to many women who went through the same thing must be lots better. But still, it was a time of huge adjustment for 1st time mummies & first time confinemers.

I was pretty excited to discharge from Mount Alvernia. I was thinking-yay! No more room sharing! (I was thinking the person who shared the same bed must be thinking the same cause I had an episode of emo-ing and I think I was pretty noisy.)

Interestingly, once discharged, i had breast feeding issues. Jaekan didn't pee nor poo for a few hours even after feeding. He was also becoming fussy. I was like "What happened?" I was doing alright at the hospital and Jaekan was doing well. I could still remember and would love to write it down as a wonderful memory of Jaekan. Whenever the nurse pushed in Jaekan for feeding-he is alert and awake as though looking forward. He was so cute-eyes were round and bright looking at me. When I fed him, he would just lovingly and with so much trust let me cuddle him. He would just fall asleep(which is an issue later on) each feeding. Anyway, he is super adorable. He didnt scream and cry loudly. He will just softly protest with soft cries. When he was delivered, he didn't cry but just with his alert eyes-looked around and eventually, found us looking and calling his name! He only started to cry when pushed to the nursery after hearing other babies cry.

So-i had breast feeding issues. So, I have to supplement with formula and I persisted with breast feeding still. I went to see a lactation consultant from Thomson & then, my transitional milk just came in. My breast was really painful. I had blocked milk ducts and have to persist in massaging my breast despite of the pain. Jaekan was also sleeping happily while feeding and not taking enough milk. I was discouraged and worried. I felt rejected when Jaekan fussed around my breast and cries-I felt really discouraged as a new mother. I also don't feel the bond that i had once with him in the hospital. I was also worried that he isn't taking enough. I kept praying and crying to the Lord. Jonathan prayed, hugged and encouraged me every night. He was very loving and patient. I wasn't entertaining anyone nor visitors because I had difficulties adjusting to everything. To me, the waking up at nights wasn't even an issue. (As my mum was doing my confinement, she was only doing the day times. Nights-i managed on my own) I could feed, change, wipe Jaekan but i was only very concerned that I could not continue breast feeding.

I also had to adjust not bathing usually.I have to bathe with smelly herbs. I didnt wash my hair for a few days and I didn't have much appetite due to the anxiety. There were alot for things I couldnt do or eat during confinement. Those days were also rather humid and hot. I was totally frustrated. Thank God that my mom and Jon have been very patient with me. I was really worrisome and quick tempered. They were encouraging and supportive. Thank God for them.

For breastfeeding, as i persisted and with God's help, Jon's support & friends' encouragement (Amy, Faith and Grace) I managed. I could expressed milk and breast feed. To me, i was still uncertain how long I could continue and how was my milk supply etc. Jaekan was still sleeping quickly at my breast-resulting of not getting enough milk! However, thank God for breast pumps. I could make sure Jaekan gets breast milk and still bottle feed him. With God's grace, i survived breast feeding during confinement. To me, it was really tough and requires alot of patience!

Confinement also gotten easier. I think I still stinks. Jon said I smelt Herby or like urine-yucks. But, I have to. Ok, my mum's food was always comforting and good :) I am super well fed & it was tough trying to cut down on food. I was eating even better compared to pregnancy. Though sleep deprived and short tempered due to that, Jon and myself still managed! We also had time-outs, some short dates along the way! My mom is cool-she thinks time alone and with hubby is important and that going out during confinement is OK.

Overall, I am  still thankful that confinement came to an end. I was sad and missed my mom-her food, her support, her help. She became one of a comforting figure during those tough times. I cried and had to adjust without her & managing Jaekan alone. I never imagine that confinement would reap a closer relationship with my mom. I thought otherwise actually but it came out as a blessing. I also saw another side of Jon. He was really tolerating, patient, loving and supportive. He showed that he really love me and places me even above our first born-Jaekan. Sometimes, as new parents (fathers or mothers) we tended to place our child above our spouse. But, Jon was very sure-my well being was important to him. I am also thankful for my aunties, uncles, cousins, friends who shown the support and concern to me. It surprises me! :)

Also, I want to thank Jaekan-my first born for being patient with mommy who aren't feeding you properly in the beginning. & also being at times, frustrated and impatient etc.. but, you were so loving and patient.

THANK GOD ITS OVER! ( now, i am in my 6th week. Should update soon)

i'm leaving at ;
11:47 PM;