WANTED CAPABLE ASSISTANTS!!

" So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.....when Moses's hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other-so that his hands remained steady till sunset."~Exodus 17:10,12

Wives and Wives-to-be are like assistants to their husbands/husbands-to-be. Just as assistants are hard to find. Capable assistants are even harder to identify. In this above passage of the life of Moses & Joshua, we could clearly see the makings of a capable assistant and how leaders cannot succeed without them.

Point 01: Assistants are help the leaders succeed.
Marital translation: Wives are to help their husbands succeed.
(the definition of success to me varies.)

When Moses held up the staff of God on top of the hill while Joshua led the Israelites in battle against the Amalekites, his hands grew tired after a while. Aaron and Hur were there to hold steady the hands of Moses. They were there to ensure that Moses's plan could be carried out accordingly. The main responsibility of an assistant is to help ensure the success of the leader. Assistant should not develop their own program; neither should they implement their own agenda apart from the leader's agenda. The leader's success is the assistant's success!

To me the definition of Jon's success is that he would love God, pursue God's will for his life. That he will ultimately be a successful worker/servant of God, father (in the future), husband (in the future) and boyfriend (now). In fact,I always pray to the Lord to help me see Jon's calling, dreams and vision as my very own. I might not have the capacity, the giftings and passion in certain things he dreams up of or God has called him to do, but, i do have the capacity to do whatever I can and also, praying through diligently.

Point 02: Assistants lighten the job of the leader through wisdom
Marital translation: Ladies, please don't behave like a mummy to your hubbies. Doing everything for him. It will disable him!!

This requires alot of wisdom to know what to do and not to do, what to say and not to say. When Moses's hands grew tired, Aaron and Hur made a wise move. Instead of simply extending their hands to support Moses' hands, which may grow tired as fast as Moses, they moved a rock under Moses and had him sit down. This tactic lowered the height of Moses, making it easier for the two assistants to maintain their support for Moses' hands until the battle was won! Wise move indeed! Wisdom has to be one of the major qualities of an assistant. Some unwise assistant leaves a trail of mess for the leaders to clean up. Others do so much that leaves the leaders feeling useless. Leaders are not necessary extraordinary competent nor they might posssess everything before they lead. Sometimes, we would require men to lead us and expect them to be more Spiritual or smarter, more competent etc. However, leaders are humans too. They make mistakes too.

Men are God's appointed leaders in the household and relationship NO MATTER WHAT or WHO. They have to account to God for the relationship and household matters. That's the fact. They are not leaders day 0ne and might not even realise that sometimes. However, the influence of submission and support is very crucial for one's growth in leadership. Thereby, do not think that submission is to be keeping quiet and pretending to be useless.

Point 03: Assistants are to complement the leader

Marital Translation: Seek to complement not replace. Seek to encourage not criticise.

Every leader has strengths and weaknesses. Often times a leader's strength is also his weaknesses! Moses's strength is to lead the Israelites to do God's will, but his weaknesses was substainability. Aaron and Hur were there to help sustain Moses till the battle was won. Some assistants secretly hope that their leader is a superhuman. Instead of coming to the side of the leader and complement his weaknesses, they criticize him, making a leader's job even tougher. Some even despise the leader when he or she exhibit leadership weaknesses.

Its really tough to play the complementing role because its really looking intentionally on your leader's weaknesses and strength and how you can compliment..without criticizing. Some think criticism spurs growth. However, as I grew in experience (i am a very opinonated person) I have to learn to speak with grace and love. I have been for the Lord to help me. I want to encourage not criticize. Criticism really kills the relationship and also your leader's pride & leadership. Also, there is a difference between criticism and rebuke. This requires alot of Spirit and wisdom to die to self and put your leader before you no matter what happen.

Thereby, do not have the posture of waiting for your men to earn respect from you. Because as God's appointed leaders, they deserve that respect first. Because in a relationship, it makes you so vulnerable and fragile. He might have done hurtful things to you or not lead you with love. Your men still deserves the first respect that the Lord has appointed him as your leader.

Just one tip: Sometimes, it doesn't help to talk anymore..just shut up and keep praying. Never give up praying for him and let him know that you are always praying for him. It makes alot of difference. :)

May the Lord bless all men who are in his respectable position and holding that honorable responsibility.