Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Loving Your Husband The Right Way....
Helping Your Husband Grow..Wives can't change their husbands, but wives can and do have a tremendous influence on their husbands. How can you make that influence positive?
1. Men respond positively to praise.
One of the most common complaints men make in my office is: "Dr. Chapman, in my work I am respected. People come to me for advice. But at home, all I get is criticism." What she considers suggestions, he reads as criticism. Her efforts to stimulate growth have backfired.
Give him praise. The fastest way to influence a husband is to give him praise. Praise him for effort, not perfection. You may be asking, But if I praise him for mediocrity, will it not stifle growth? The answer is a resounding "No". Your praise urges him on to greater accomplishments.
My challenge is to look for things your husband is doing right and praise him. Praise him in private, praise him in front of the children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his peers. Then stand back and watch him go for the gold.
2. Requests are more productive than demands.
None of us like to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. "If you don't mow the grass this afternoon, then I'm going to mow it." I wouldn't make that demand unless you want to be the permanent lawn mower. It is far more effective to say, "Do you know what would really make me happy?" Wait until he asks, "What?" Then say, "If you could find time this afternoon to mow the grass. You always do such a great job."
Let me illustrate by applying the principle to you. How do you feel when your husband says "I haven't had an apple pie since the baby was born. I don't guess I'm going to get any more apple pies for eighteen years"? Now, doesn't that motivate you? But what if he says, "You know what I'd really like to have? One of your apple pies. You make the best apple pies in the world. Sometime when you get a chance, I'd really love one of your apple pies. Chances are he'll have an apple pie before the week is over. Requests are more productive than demands.
3. Love is a two way street.
If a wife wants to enhance her husband's ability to give her emotional love, perhaps her greatest influence will be in loving him. In my book, The Five Love Languages, I talk about the importance of discovering your husband's primary love language - the thing that really makes him feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch, or acts of service. Once you discover it, pour it on. Husbands are drawn to wives who are meeting their emotional need for love.
Can you do it, even if he is not loving you. God did. He loved us when we were unlovely. But that's God. I'm me. I know, but you are God's child and He can empower you to love an unlovely spouse. I've seen it many times. A wife chooses to speak her husband's love language, even though she doesn't feel loved by him. He warms up and in time begins expressing her love language. Can emotional love be re-born in a marriage? You bet. But someone must begin the process. Why not you?
4. Defensiveness reveals the inner self.
A wife says, "Why does my husband get so defensive? All I have to do is mention that the grass needs mowing and he goes ballistic."
This husband is revealing his self-esteem hot spot. Some experience in his past has tied his sense of self worth to mowing the grass. Your mention of the grass translates "She thinks I'm not doing my job. I work like crazy, and now she is on my case about the grass." He sees it as a negative statement about his worth.
I know you didn't mean it that way. That's why I suggesting you observe his defensiveness, so that you can learn what is going on inside of him. We don't know these emotional hot spots until we touch one. It would be a good idea to make a list of all your husband's defensive reactions. Note what you said and did and how he responded. This insight will help you discover another way to discuss the topic that will be less threatening to his self-esteem.
Both husbands and wives hold a tremendous influence on their spouse. However, it is up to you whether your influence is positive.
Dear Lord,
Help me with the above tips to love and respect Jon the right way. In Lord Jesus Name I pray, amen.
Adapted from The Family You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Helping Your Husband Grow..Wives can't change their husbands, but wives can and do have a tremendous influence on their husbands. How can you make that influence positive?
1. Men respond positively to praise.
One of the most common complaints men make in my office is: "Dr. Chapman, in my work I am respected. People come to me for advice. But at home, all I get is criticism." What she considers suggestions, he reads as criticism. Her efforts to stimulate growth have backfired.
Give him praise. The fastest way to influence a husband is to give him praise. Praise him for effort, not perfection. You may be asking, But if I praise him for mediocrity, will it not stifle growth? The answer is a resounding "No". Your praise urges him on to greater accomplishments.
My challenge is to look for things your husband is doing right and praise him. Praise him in private, praise him in front of the children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his peers. Then stand back and watch him go for the gold.
2. Requests are more productive than demands.
None of us like to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. "If you don't mow the grass this afternoon, then I'm going to mow it." I wouldn't make that demand unless you want to be the permanent lawn mower. It is far more effective to say, "Do you know what would really make me happy?" Wait until he asks, "What?" Then say, "If you could find time this afternoon to mow the grass. You always do such a great job."
Let me illustrate by applying the principle to you. How do you feel when your husband says "I haven't had an apple pie since the baby was born. I don't guess I'm going to get any more apple pies for eighteen years"? Now, doesn't that motivate you? But what if he says, "You know what I'd really like to have? One of your apple pies. You make the best apple pies in the world. Sometime when you get a chance, I'd really love one of your apple pies. Chances are he'll have an apple pie before the week is over. Requests are more productive than demands.
3. Love is a two way street.
If a wife wants to enhance her husband's ability to give her emotional love, perhaps her greatest influence will be in loving him. In my book, The Five Love Languages, I talk about the importance of discovering your husband's primary love language - the thing that really makes him feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch, or acts of service. Once you discover it, pour it on. Husbands are drawn to wives who are meeting their emotional need for love.
Can you do it, even if he is not loving you. God did. He loved us when we were unlovely. But that's God. I'm me. I know, but you are God's child and He can empower you to love an unlovely spouse. I've seen it many times. A wife chooses to speak her husband's love language, even though she doesn't feel loved by him. He warms up and in time begins expressing her love language. Can emotional love be re-born in a marriage? You bet. But someone must begin the process. Why not you?
4. Defensiveness reveals the inner self.
A wife says, "Why does my husband get so defensive? All I have to do is mention that the grass needs mowing and he goes ballistic."
This husband is revealing his self-esteem hot spot. Some experience in his past has tied his sense of self worth to mowing the grass. Your mention of the grass translates "She thinks I'm not doing my job. I work like crazy, and now she is on my case about the grass." He sees it as a negative statement about his worth.
I know you didn't mean it that way. That's why I suggesting you observe his defensiveness, so that you can learn what is going on inside of him. We don't know these emotional hot spots until we touch one. It would be a good idea to make a list of all your husband's defensive reactions. Note what you said and did and how he responded. This insight will help you discover another way to discuss the topic that will be less threatening to his self-esteem.
Both husbands and wives hold a tremendous influence on their spouse. However, it is up to you whether your influence is positive.
Dear Lord,
Help me with the above tips to love and respect Jon the right way. In Lord Jesus Name I pray, amen.
Adapted from The Family You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
i'm leaving at ;
9:26 PM;
9:26 PM;
Monday, October 26, 2009
One of our Belovees: "HamHam"
"Hamham" came in on 15may as a special gift from Jon to me :) It actually came in like this below in delivery:
"Hamham" is named by our dear Jon. However, "Hamham" is not very happy with his name because for obvious reasons.. :( We can all see it is a pig. And Jon still gave him the name which sounds like "Ham" (Its actually food) and it makes our poor "hamham" feel that he is after food. Hahaa...
Poor thing ..
i'm leaving at ;
1:12 AM;
1:12 AM;
Our date on Saturday and time on Sunday :)
I really enjoyed my time with Jon last saturday. Its nice to see him rested and nicely dressed up. :) I was excited that he is bringing me out to eat. Thank you dear for your effort. :) Really appreciate it.
Well, I had my Beloved Annual Retreat the whole morning till 4plus before meeting dear. Then we shopped around before heading for dinner. After dinner, we went to "Love the world" Its a nice Christian pub where Christian music is played regularly. That night, we went down and the General Manager, Melvin was singing. Gosh. He has such a great voice. :) (he is singing some nice pop songs that night.) Check it out:
www.lovetheworldsoulrock.com
After that, we spent nice moments near my place. :) I really enjoyed myself so much. Really like spending time with Jon. Man. I am in love with him.
Sunday:
Sunday, our friend Ken happened to be there in church and we had lunch. Interestingly, we were discussing about "Five love languages" which is a topic that I am quite informed about. There are Five Love languages:
1) Acts Of Service
2) Gifts
3) Physical Touch
4) Quality Time
5) Words of Affirmation
The more you use to express your love to another person is actually your main love language on what makes you feel more love. Mine is actually "Physical Touch." And, our friend, Ken is "gifts." What about you? What makes you feel more loved? It is actually very helpful in a relationship to know your partner's love language. Jon says his is "words of affirmation" which i beg to differ observing him~Hee.. :)
Hope this tip is helpful :) Also, make your partner feel special by dating him/her, breaking out of usual routine by doing activities together or going to special places together. :)
I really enjoyed my time with Jon last saturday. Its nice to see him rested and nicely dressed up. :) I was excited that he is bringing me out to eat. Thank you dear for your effort. :) Really appreciate it.
Well, I had my Beloved Annual Retreat the whole morning till 4plus before meeting dear. Then we shopped around before heading for dinner. After dinner, we went to "Love the world" Its a nice Christian pub where Christian music is played regularly. That night, we went down and the General Manager, Melvin was singing. Gosh. He has such a great voice. :) (he is singing some nice pop songs that night.) Check it out:
www.lovetheworldsoulrock.com
After that, we spent nice moments near my place. :) I really enjoyed myself so much. Really like spending time with Jon. Man. I am in love with him.
Sunday:
Sunday, our friend Ken happened to be there in church and we had lunch. Interestingly, we were discussing about "Five love languages" which is a topic that I am quite informed about. There are Five Love languages:
1) Acts Of Service
2) Gifts
3) Physical Touch
4) Quality Time
5) Words of Affirmation
The more you use to express your love to another person is actually your main love language on what makes you feel more love. Mine is actually "Physical Touch." And, our friend, Ken is "gifts." What about you? What makes you feel more loved? It is actually very helpful in a relationship to know your partner's love language. Jon says his is "words of affirmation" which i beg to differ observing him~Hee.. :)
Hope this tip is helpful :) Also, make your partner feel special by dating him/her, breaking out of usual routine by doing activities together or going to special places together. :)
i'm leaving at ;
12:15 AM;
12:15 AM;
Friday, October 23, 2009
Well said My Baby Ang about the realities of marriage :)-
Marriage is definately God's will. He said in His word for us to go forth and mulitply.
Infact guys should not feel pressured when talking about it .
Infact talking about it and working towards it, is a respond to God's word and instruction. This way we are being obedient what He has so desired for us to do.
Yes in marriage there are practical issues involve which sometimes make it hard for it to become reality. But as the Lord instructs we follow and be obedient through faith. He will take care of the rest. In so doing we are pleasing God because we exercise faith.
Lets continue to pray and earnestly seek Him to direct the paths of both Jon & Dawn towards becoming each other's life time partners and making their marriage the most memorable and God honouring one.
To God be the glory in the process toward marriage.
Marriage is definately God's will. He said in His word for us to go forth and mulitply.
Infact guys should not feel pressured when talking about it .
Infact talking about it and working towards it, is a respond to God's word and instruction. This way we are being obedient what He has so desired for us to do.
Yes in marriage there are practical issues involve which sometimes make it hard for it to become reality. But as the Lord instructs we follow and be obedient through faith. He will take care of the rest. In so doing we are pleasing God because we exercise faith.
Lets continue to pray and earnestly seek Him to direct the paths of both Jon & Dawn towards becoming each other's life time partners and making their marriage the most memorable and God honouring one.
To God be the glory in the process toward marriage.
i'm leaving at ;
10:05 PM;
10:05 PM;
The Next Step in the relationship
I felt that Jon and I have taken a next step in the relationship together when we talked and prayed about marriage. Although, I am supportive towards the school of thought that if you are ready for marriage and see a possibility of a future with the guy you date, then, enter into a relationship. If not, its better not to.
Jon and I belonged to the same school of thought and did briefly/jokingly talked about marriage, starting a family etc, not seriously praying or discussing etc. I think the discussion time came when he is stepping into a faith adventure with the Lord.
I am always worried that I might stress a guy if I talk to my boyfriend about marriage and a future etc....But, i guess its still an important aspect to explore.
Some guys will freak out when their girlfriends start discussing casually about these things.
What do you think? At what level or phrase should you start talking about it?
What are guys thinking?
I felt that Jon and I have taken a next step in the relationship together when we talked and prayed about marriage. Although, I am supportive towards the school of thought that if you are ready for marriage and see a possibility of a future with the guy you date, then, enter into a relationship. If not, its better not to.
Jon and I belonged to the same school of thought and did briefly/jokingly talked about marriage, starting a family etc, not seriously praying or discussing etc. I think the discussion time came when he is stepping into a faith adventure with the Lord.
I am always worried that I might stress a guy if I talk to my boyfriend about marriage and a future etc....But, i guess its still an important aspect to explore.
Some guys will freak out when their girlfriends start discussing casually about these things.
What do you think? At what level or phrase should you start talking about it?
What are guys thinking?
i'm leaving at ;
2:57 AM;
2:57 AM;
Friday, October 16, 2009
Communication tips with Joney Wee :)
Rule 01: Use your sweetest voice ;)
This man is a musician at heart. So, the voice, tone and pitch is important. Doesn't matter if you are flowning on the phone..haha.
Rule 02: Agree as long as you don't strongly disagree. Holiday? As long as its with you!
The country nearby sounds great..we can be creative with the little budget we have:) if not, eh..we can wait too. As long as it with you! :)
Rule 03: Jon has a way to your heart. :) Just let him!
Aw. What can I say about this? He has a way to dawn's heart.
Rule 04: Don't react but respond. (Thats what both of us learn thus far about both of us.)
We can be quite opinionated and full of our own ideas. Yep. To respond lovingly and gently, remembering its the person and the relationship that matters and not opinions or who is right.
Rule 05: Before ending phone conversations, you must say the "magic" word.
Haha..you know and I know what this word is ya?
Holiday..holiday..holiday coming..!!
Rule 01: Use your sweetest voice ;)
This man is a musician at heart. So, the voice, tone and pitch is important. Doesn't matter if you are flowning on the phone..haha.
Rule 02: Agree as long as you don't strongly disagree. Holiday? As long as its with you!
The country nearby sounds great..we can be creative with the little budget we have:) if not, eh..we can wait too. As long as it with you! :)
Rule 03: Jon has a way to your heart. :) Just let him!
Aw. What can I say about this? He has a way to dawn's heart.
Rule 04: Don't react but respond. (Thats what both of us learn thus far about both of us.)
We can be quite opinionated and full of our own ideas. Yep. To respond lovingly and gently, remembering its the person and the relationship that matters and not opinions or who is right.
Rule 05: Before ending phone conversations, you must say the "magic" word.
Haha..you know and I know what this word is ya?
Holiday..holiday..holiday coming..!!
i'm leaving at ;
1:11 AM;
1:11 AM;
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thursday 15 Oct 9.50pm
Answers To Your Dear Dear's Questions
Rule ,1 Answer with excitement.
woo lah lah....
Yeah ask for a holiday and holiday you shall get.
Hang on there its coming soon. The best is yet to come. That is why havnt come.
Rule 2 , Answer with conviction
Indeed it will come to pass. The best holiday ever. Just you and me Sexy Butt and Sweetie Face
Rule 3, The rule of all rules, Answer witb compassion.
Aww Dear, i understand how you feel, i am really desperately wanting to go holiday with you as well but we just got to wait and then we will have the best holiday ever ok. a little while more ok. hang on there. I am hanging on with you.
1 Wait , 1 Encounter,
First time ever in History where two lives go on 1 Holiday Together
on 1 Date in December for the most memorable time in their lives.
Going soon to a country Near You. :) Yeah.......
Answers To Your Dear Dear's Questions
Rule ,1 Answer with excitement.
woo lah lah....
Yeah ask for a holiday and holiday you shall get.
Hang on there its coming soon. The best is yet to come. That is why havnt come.
Rule 2 , Answer with conviction
Indeed it will come to pass. The best holiday ever. Just you and me Sexy Butt and Sweetie Face
Rule 3, The rule of all rules, Answer witb compassion.
Aww Dear, i understand how you feel, i am really desperately wanting to go holiday with you as well but we just got to wait and then we will have the best holiday ever ok. a little while more ok. hang on there. I am hanging on with you.
1 Wait , 1 Encounter,
First time ever in History where two lives go on 1 Holiday Together
on 1 Date in December for the most memorable time in their lives.
Going soon to a country Near You. :) Yeah.......
i'm leaving at ;
6:45 AM;
6:45 AM;
Today is Jonjon-dear's interview :) Am praying for God's will to be done. Am looking forward to spending time with him this saturday. We are gg to a business exhibition. Jon is such a business person..with his many many ideas to earn money and keen spirit to pioneer. :) After that, will meet up a web designer from CS music. :)
Am looking towards December :) Haha...i want to go for a holiday!
Am looking towards December :) Haha...i want to go for a holiday!
i'm leaving at ;
3:33 AM;
3:33 AM;
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Thusday 15 October 2009 0840am
Conflict Resolution Day - 15 Oct 2009
Conflicts happens all the time. And sometimes when we do not want it to happen especially in relationships among couples it just happens and its frustrating. Well lets just face it, this is reality of life, instead of avoiding the issues of conflicts lets just face it and resolve it as this is what God desires of us. To forgive one another just as Christ forgive us.
Adapted From Daily Bread - 15/05/2009
Today is observed in many countries as International Conflict Resolution Day. Its purpose is to encourage people to use mediation and arbitration rather than the legal system to settle their differences. Because we as followers of Christ are not immune to conflict, we need to learn how to resolve our disagreements in ways that honor the Lord.
Forgiveness is the glue that repairs broken relationships.
Conflict Resolution Day - 15 Oct 2009
Conflicts happens all the time. And sometimes when we do not want it to happen especially in relationships among couples it just happens and its frustrating. Well lets just face it, this is reality of life, instead of avoiding the issues of conflicts lets just face it and resolve it as this is what God desires of us. To forgive one another just as Christ forgive us.
Adapted From Daily Bread - 15/05/2009
Today is observed in many countries as International Conflict Resolution Day. Its purpose is to encourage people to use mediation and arbitration rather than the legal system to settle their differences. Because we as followers of Christ are not immune to conflict, we need to learn how to resolve our disagreements in ways that honor the Lord.
Forgiveness is the glue that repairs broken relationships.
i'm leaving at ;
5:37 PM;
5:37 PM;
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Wednesday 14th Oct 2009 @ 9.05am
Rest In Him- Be Still and Know
Many times couples might/ might not get shaken by situations in their relationship. When that happens don't panic just rest in Him. It may be easier said then done. But these are the words from our Lord. Be still and know that He is God. What does it mean by "Be Still and Know that He is God" - It simply means to trust Him and rest upon Him and He will take care of everything.
Adapted From Daily Bread
In Psalm 46:10, we read, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” In the moments when my heart is anxious, this verse reminds me to “be still, and know.” Now, if I can only put that into practice and rest confidently in His care, I’ll be at peace. — Bill Crowder
Prayer For The Day
Lord, we know that true rest can be found only in You. Help us to end our striving and to trust that You will provide. In Your loving arms we find rest. Amen.
God knows the future, so we are safe in His hands.
Rest In Him- Be Still and Know
Many times couples might/ might not get shaken by situations in their relationship. When that happens don't panic just rest in Him. It may be easier said then done. But these are the words from our Lord. Be still and know that He is God. What does it mean by "Be Still and Know that He is God" - It simply means to trust Him and rest upon Him and He will take care of everything.
Adapted From Daily Bread
In Psalm 46:10, we read, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” In the moments when my heart is anxious, this verse reminds me to “be still, and know.” Now, if I can only put that into practice and rest confidently in His care, I’ll be at peace. — Bill Crowder
Prayer For The Day
Lord, we know that true rest can be found only in You. Help us to end our striving and to trust that You will provide. In Your loving arms we find rest. Amen.
God knows the future, so we are safe in His hands.
i'm leaving at ;
6:01 PM;
6:01 PM;
Tuesday 13 Oct 2009 22:00
When You Are Sad I Am Sad
Dear Dear,
when you are sad it saddens me too. Don't blame yourself. Its very unfair to say its all your fault, when we have issues or conflicts in our relationship. I play a part in the relationship too. I am partly to be blame for what happened. I didnt handle it properly that make you feel how you felt last night.
Don't give up Dear. Think about Jesus. He weeps with those that weeps. When we are weak and vulnerable we can always look to Him. Don't give up and cast all your cares upon me. This is what the Lord want of us.
When we feel weaken in a relationship, surrender it before Him and He will strengthen and enlighten us to sustain the relationship.
Press on and lets turn When You Are Sad, I Am Sad to When You are Glad I Am Glad
:)
Joney Wee
When You Are Sad I Am Sad
Dear Dear,
when you are sad it saddens me too. Don't blame yourself. Its very unfair to say its all your fault, when we have issues or conflicts in our relationship. I play a part in the relationship too. I am partly to be blame for what happened. I didnt handle it properly that make you feel how you felt last night.
Don't give up Dear. Think about Jesus. He weeps with those that weeps. When we are weak and vulnerable we can always look to Him. Don't give up and cast all your cares upon me. This is what the Lord want of us.
When we feel weaken in a relationship, surrender it before Him and He will strengthen and enlighten us to sustain the relationship.
Press on and lets turn When You Are Sad, I Am Sad to When You are Glad I Am Glad
:)
Joney Wee
i'm leaving at ;
7:11 AM;
7:11 AM;
Monday, October 12, 2009
Stagnant?
Stagnant: (http://www.dictionary.com/)
1. not flowing or running, as water, air, etc.
2. stale or foul from standing, as a pool of water.
3.characterized by lack of development, advancement, or progressive movement: a stagnant economy.
4. inactive, sluggish, or dull
Yesterday we had an argument. :( I think I over-reacted and I felt sad even when i am typing this. Tears just naturally filled my eyes.
Whenever i think of Jon, I think of a man who really loves, cherish and treasures me. He would do his best not say anything that hurt me nor do anything that harm me. I could doubt myself but I couldn't doubt that he loves me.
Maybe, i am really not putting as much effort as I would like to. Maybe I am boring.. :(
Anyway, i still upset over last night. :( I am kinda tired. I have been a while now. I am trying hard and I am kind of tired trying. Anyway, this song below is for you..Jon.
"neglected the time, we spend together.
took you for granted many of times.
did not treasure nor cherish
you with all my heart."
maybe that its all too late.
So sorry for hurting and making you so worried
So sorry for letting you down
I know that its nothing i could do to make it up
I hope you will give me this chance..
This chance.."
Jon, I love you so much. So sorry that I always to hurt you, made you worried for me.....
Stagnant: (http://www.dictionary.com/)
1. not flowing or running, as water, air, etc.
2. stale or foul from standing, as a pool of water.
3.characterized by lack of development, advancement, or progressive movement: a stagnant economy.
4. inactive, sluggish, or dull
Yesterday we had an argument. :( I think I over-reacted and I felt sad even when i am typing this. Tears just naturally filled my eyes.
Whenever i think of Jon, I think of a man who really loves, cherish and treasures me. He would do his best not say anything that hurt me nor do anything that harm me. I could doubt myself but I couldn't doubt that he loves me.
Maybe, i am really not putting as much effort as I would like to. Maybe I am boring.. :(
Anyway, i still upset over last night. :( I am kinda tired. I have been a while now. I am trying hard and I am kind of tired trying. Anyway, this song below is for you..Jon.
"neglected the time, we spend together.
took you for granted many of times.
did not treasure nor cherish
you with all my heart."
maybe that its all too late.
So sorry for hurting and making you so worried
So sorry for letting you down
I know that its nothing i could do to make it up
I hope you will give me this chance..
This chance.."
Jon, I love you so much. So sorry that I always to hurt you, made you worried for me.....
i'm leaving at ;
6:17 PM;
6:17 PM;
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Being Vulnerable
Its normal and acceptable for women to cry and lean on her spouse. However, a woman would also like her man to be able to share his thoughts, feelings to her. Jon is right.
Sometimes, when man has a problem, the usual scenerio would be keeping to him or herself so that his wife would not worry excessively etc. However, its sometimes better to share appropriately to your wife not for your own sake but her sake. It makes her feel important and also, it deepens the relationship. Of course, it takes wisdom on "how" and "what" to share depending on how your spouse is.
:) I totally agree with Jon.
Dawn
Its normal and acceptable for women to cry and lean on her spouse. However, a woman would also like her man to be able to share his thoughts, feelings to her. Jon is right.Sometimes, when man has a problem, the usual scenerio would be keeping to him or herself so that his wife would not worry excessively etc. However, its sometimes better to share appropriately to your wife not for your own sake but her sake. It makes her feel important and also, it deepens the relationship. Of course, it takes wisdom on "how" and "what" to share depending on how your spouse is.
:) I totally agree with Jon.
Dawn
i'm leaving at ;
11:45 PM;
11:45 PM;
Friday 9th Oct 2009 8.50am
Weeping is fine- it doesnt show that one is weak and small. Thats the best part for we as christians. Referencing - Jesus Weep too...... He weep with those that weep.
Sometimes there are lots of weeping in relationships and to be vulnerable in front of your partner might seem difficult especially guys but its ok, I encourage you to do so as its from the Lord, emotions are given by Him. Weep and be vulnerable and in exchange you get a release, comforting touch and support.
Even when our partners are not that sensitive at times when we weep in front of them we can always come to the Lord, he will truely accept us at our most vulnerable point. He says in his word. Come to me all you who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest. When you are weak He is made strong in you ------- He takes over so you can just rest and relax and God will be in control.
Adapted From Daily Bread 9 Oct 2009
Our emotions, however, are God-given. They’re a characteristic of our having been made in God’s image (Gen. 1:27). He grieves. In Genesis 6:6-7, He was sorrowful and angry about His people’s sin and the separation it caused between Him and them.
Jesus, God in the flesh, joined His friends Mary and Martha in grieving over the loss of their brother Lazarus (John 11:28-44). “He groaned in the spirit and was troubled” (v.33). He “wept” (v.35). “Jesus, again groaning in Himself, came to the tomb” (v.38). I doubt that He apologized.
Someday when we get to heaven, there will be no more sorrow or separation or pain, and God will wipe away every tear from our eyes (Rev. 21:4). In the meantime, the tears may flow. No apologies needed. — Anne Cetas
He knows our burdens and our crosses,Those things that hurt, our trials and losses,He cares for every soul that cries,God wipes the tears from weeping eyes. —Brandt
If you doubt that Jesus cares, remember His tears.
Weeping is fine- it doesnt show that one is weak and small. Thats the best part for we as christians. Referencing - Jesus Weep too...... He weep with those that weep.
Sometimes there are lots of weeping in relationships and to be vulnerable in front of your partner might seem difficult especially guys but its ok, I encourage you to do so as its from the Lord, emotions are given by Him. Weep and be vulnerable and in exchange you get a release, comforting touch and support.
Even when our partners are not that sensitive at times when we weep in front of them we can always come to the Lord, he will truely accept us at our most vulnerable point. He says in his word. Come to me all you who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest. When you are weak He is made strong in you ------- He takes over so you can just rest and relax and God will be in control.
Adapted From Daily Bread 9 Oct 2009
Our emotions, however, are God-given. They’re a characteristic of our having been made in God’s image (Gen. 1:27). He grieves. In Genesis 6:6-7, He was sorrowful and angry about His people’s sin and the separation it caused between Him and them.
Jesus, God in the flesh, joined His friends Mary and Martha in grieving over the loss of their brother Lazarus (John 11:28-44). “He groaned in the spirit and was troubled” (v.33). He “wept” (v.35). “Jesus, again groaning in Himself, came to the tomb” (v.38). I doubt that He apologized.
Someday when we get to heaven, there will be no more sorrow or separation or pain, and God will wipe away every tear from our eyes (Rev. 21:4). In the meantime, the tears may flow. No apologies needed. — Anne Cetas
He knows our burdens and our crosses,Those things that hurt, our trials and losses,He cares for every soul that cries,God wipes the tears from weeping eyes. —Brandt
If you doubt that Jesus cares, remember His tears.
i'm leaving at ;
5:52 PM;
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Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Isn't he just wonderful?
~The cutest BabyJon :)
Dear, you never fail to amaze me with you tenderness, your care, your love and your encouragement. :) I felt so loved and blessed by you. You are my most wonderful man alive ;) aside from our Lord Jesus.
Thank you for applying the understanding to my flaws and my situations. I always feel better with you around. :)
Dear God, I thank you that I could wake up wanting to pray to you because Jesus woke up when th sun is not out and talk to you. Me too, i like to talk to You. I also thank You for blessing me with my dearest Jon. He fill my life with so much of his love, his hugs and kisses, his tenderness, his care, his leadership :) Thank you Lord for walking with us the journey together. With You, we are safe :) Ultimately, I want to thank You that You are the lover of our souls :) In Jesus Most Precious Name, Amen.
I am apple of their(Jon and Jesus) eyes,
Dawn
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6:32 PM;
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Wednesday 7th Oct 2009 9am
This morning read something for devotion on understanding one another and that sparks some thoughts for a couple's relationship
Understanding first starts with the heart will speak alot rather than just being understanding for the sake of understanding.
Lets try to understand each other with our hearts and then put it into action. It will be very different in the way we approach and love each other.
Adapted From Daily Bread
One of the best ways for a man to love his wife is to understand her. Peter explains that it is imperative for a husband to “dwell with [his wife] with understanding” (1 Peter 3:7).
This principle works both ways. Husbands want to be understood as well. Actually, we all do.
This principle works both ways. Husbands want to be understood as well. Actually, we all do.
Everyone, married or not, longs to be understood by others at the deepest possible level. We’re born with that need, and we never seem to outgrow it.
It’s feeble avoidance to say we can’t understand one another. We can and we must. It takes time—time spent in one another’s presence asking questions, listening intently, then asking again. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.
No one, of course, can fully plumb the mystery of another person’s heart, but we can learn something new every day. The wise man of Proverbs called understanding “a wellspring of life” (16:22), a deep source of wisdom to all who seek it.
Again, I say, understanding takes time—one of the most precious gifts we can give to others. How we choose to spend our time is the surest indicator of how much we care for those we love.
Ask the Lord today to give you the grace to take the time to understand the important people in your life. — David H. Roper
Ask the Lord today to give you the grace to take the time to understand the important people in your life. — David H. Roper
To those whose lives we touch in life,To whom our love we would impart,The greatest gift that we can giveMay be an understanding heart. —Branon
Listening is an open door to understanding
i'm leaving at ;
5:56 PM;
5:56 PM;
Tuesday 6 Oct 2009 - 9am
TO My Dearest lovable Baby Ang.
just leaving u a note to say that your the cutest , loviest and best girl i have ever cross in my life.,
Thank you for being such a wonderful baby to me. Here's leaving a chinese poem to appreciate u.
Adapted from Tang Shi 300 Shou.
Bed side never see you (Chuang Qian Ming Yue Guang)
Suddenly Look on the floor can't find you ( Yu shi di shang shuang)
Look up start thinking of you (Ju tou wang ming yue)
Then look down will miss and never forget you (di tou si gu xiang)
Day 1 of Many Years To Come Of Blogging for my love
Lovey, Missey, Likey You soey muchey
Your Lovey Cutey Jwee
TO My Dearest lovable Baby Ang.
just leaving u a note to say that your the cutest , loviest and best girl i have ever cross in my life.,
Thank you for being such a wonderful baby to me. Here's leaving a chinese poem to appreciate u.
Adapted from Tang Shi 300 Shou.
Bed side never see you (Chuang Qian Ming Yue Guang)
Suddenly Look on the floor can't find you ( Yu shi di shang shuang)
Look up start thinking of you (Ju tou wang ming yue)
Then look down will miss and never forget you (di tou si gu xiang)
Day 1 of Many Years To Come Of Blogging for my love
Lovey, Missey, Likey You soey muchey
Your Lovey Cutey Jwee
i'm leaving at ;
3:46 AM;
3:46 AM;
Monday, October 5, 2009
Jon + Dawn: Our Journey Together with Cross in between us :)
We decided to set up a online haven for us to share our stories to the rest of the world. What truly makes the difference in our relationship is Christ who is in the centre which makes the relationship a beautiful and different one. :)
Welcome to our little haven on-line!
We decided to set up a online haven for us to share our stories to the rest of the world. What truly makes the difference in our relationship is Christ who is in the centre which makes the relationship a beautiful and different one. :)
Jon and I will be posting our different memories of each other :)
We hope we can capture the gems and hard-knocks in our journey together.
Till then,
Dawn
Dawn
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11:10 PM;
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